How Hypnotherapy Can Help You Move On After A Difficult Breakup


Part 1: Addressing Memories 

Breakups are tough. Anyone who has been through one knows that it can be a harrowing experience. If you're struggling to get over a past relationship, hypnosis may be able to help you recover from a broken heart or toxic relationship. One of the ways we begin to address the pain of a past relationship is by addressing the memories associated with it. 

You need to understand that memory is malleable, and every time we recall a memory, we change it. Think of it like a Google doc, you have that information in the cloud, but every time you open it and edit, it is the updated document that is saved. Your memory work similarly. You're storing the last updated version. 

In addition, we are more likely to remember experiences based on high emotional arousal - for better or worse. For example, when a relationship ends, its often accompanied by intense pain and sadness, which is likely to leave us with a strong memory of the incident. So it makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint that you'd store painful memories so that you don't repeat the same behaviors or patterns. This process makes sense in terms of physical pain. For example, it's important to remember that putting your hand on a hot stove will burn you, but it's not particularly helpful for letting go of an old romantic relationship.

We also know that memory is subjective, and we easily distort memories based on our mood and beliefs - perhaps adding in aspects that weren't there. Often people who are having a hard time processing a breakup will recall "exaggerated" or "distorted" memories of their relationship. They may recall good times with an ex as "happier" than they were. For example, you may recall your beach vacation in Cancun with your ex, and you may idolize that one afternoon when you held hands while watching the sunset, but you completely forget or disregard the memory of your many awkward, silent meals at the resort. Or, how he rudely flirted with the bartender and tried to insist that you were just insecure when you asked him to stop.

You see, we are constantly replaying memories or creating new scenes, images, and sounds in our minds. This is how we communicate naturally with ourselves from the time of birth. I find hypnosis to be so effective for getting over an ex because I can communicate with my clients in the same way they create their problems -- via images and other sensory information. Using various hypnosis techniques, we can bring more balance and neutrality back to those "exaggerated" memories, creating a sense of freedom from the past and a renewed sense of positivity for the future.

will Hypnosis Erase My Ex From My Mind?

But Wait...will Hypnosis Erase My Ex From My Mind?

It's been ages since I've seen the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but this is something I want to address. First, I'll remind you that Eternal Sunshine is a romantic science-fiction movie. Within the storyline, we learn that a former couple Clementine (played by Kate Winslet) and Joel (played by Jim Carey) have erased their memories via a medical procedure. Although the movie doesn't mention hypnosis, there's been a lot of speculation online that hypnosis could make you forget your ex.  

To be clear, tapping into the power of hypnosis to get over a breakup is NOT about erasing the memory of your ex. Instead, it's about helping you create a more objective sense of your ex by digging into the meaning-making and belief systems underneath the memories that have kept you looping in stuckness. This means a session will not feel like an emotional overhaul. No, it will feel like you just have more peace around your past. Think graceful and elegant closure rather than amnesia. 

How to Get Started With Hypnosis to Get Over a Breakup

If you're new to hypnosis or working with me, I suggest signing up for a TTH Session. These sessions will help you begin to shift out of some of that old heartbreak, pain, and loss. It also gives you a chance to see how well you respond to hypnosis before committing to a package of sessions.